A DAY LATE AT FIFTY!

“I am selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistake, I am out of control and at time hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”-Marilyn Monroe

At fifty yes at fifty I entertain eternal questions like what I can expect from this world or out of this world. I am an old oh rather matured lady. My mind is nagged with ethereal questions.  They say at this age, you are just an inches away to your grave. Uggh, this is a creepy statement that scared the hell out of me. I run away from this creepy thought but, it often comes back. I am afraid to die that is the iota of truth.  You can boo me I am coward. I admit that. Who is not afraid to die eventually? I wish Edward Cullen would transmit to me the immortality venom of a vampire yet  the story of that is a pure fictitious. I want to think about LIFE and what it can best offer me. Like winning a jackpot in the lottery, splurging in Boracay Island and get tan by the raging heat of the sun, putting up a business and all nice and spicy to think of. 

It seems like yesterday. I was young, lovely, femme fatale(ehem).  My great assets were my small waist, bounty boobs and legs which made men turned their heads. I loved to wear shorts, slim fit pants and mini-skirts to show off my legs. Men admired me. Men hated me. I was not easy to handle. I was mercurial. One moment I was highly spirited. One moment, I slashed people with my temper. I was narcissistic. I constantly looked at myself in the mirror then tell myself, "Oh, I am pretty." I felt titillated when men praise me. I felt like I was in 7th Heaven. Sometimes, I was an angel with two long horns on my head. I was too foreboding. I find it hard to forgive people who had pained me so much. 


At fifty, I am starting my life all over again without so many qualms. I live my life depending on my own strategy to survive because in this world although I am blessed with thousands of friends who has been manifesting their unconditional love to me , at the end of the day, I'll be left alone then I start to ask myself what I really want to do most in my life and the missing  link to make my existence a meaningful one. Since my parents died, I sink in to my world. My world fell apart.I was in limbo. Problems and temptations were punching me around the corner. It was hard to get HELP from your own true bloods. This has become a learning experience to me. I need to survive on my own. I define myself more of a loner. I would rather be alone - I am more peace with myself. I also enjoyed my moments with my kids and those people who I truly loved. 

At fifty, I consider myself a tiger mom raising my kids without an eagle dad and hoping a chivalrous guy or a knight in his shining armor will be dropped from Heaven to melt my heart.  I even intend to shout out in the Facebook, “WANTED PERFECT HUSBAND” but I am hesitant to be accused by my friends, “Beth, are you hallucinating? At your age, would someone fall in love with you?” Oh Shut up! I am not hallucinating,duh! Do I have not the right to fall in love again? Nope I am not hallucinating. Hear my heart and you can hear it beats- I am still alive to take a chance of falling in love again.  By chance, God will drop that guy from heaven. When it happens, no one can ever stop it. Charming statements! Am I really serious talking about FALLING IN LOVE? In the dating site, you can find hundreds of men lining up  looking for their soulmate but one thing I hate, they are going to ask you to send your nude pic or pose nude in front of the cam. Excuse me,I don't have a cam. What do you think of me, a slut? You can get that a few cents down the road. I am not Katrina Halili. I often told Rick Harman, "Rick I am married to myself." He would answer me, "Divorce yourself."  Okay Rick, I will try. 

I had revolutionary mistakes from the past. Legions of it I guess. Let me count my fingers. Ah plenty! They were like blades of perennial grasses. Some of them keep on haunting me to the present. It sends a nostalgic feelings and those shattered memories siphoned me back to the past. It sends chills down my spine. I feel like vomiting. It is hard to forget those memories especially if half of your existence was really bad and shaken. Some were wasted moments that I have regretted. I learn to gather the broken pieces of the past and let it served as a lesson.  I am more mature now to handle the trivialities of world with God’s help.


At fifty, I begin to worry that I am indeed growing old. When I look at myself now in the mirror, I can see gray hairs neatly lining up in between my black hairs. I can see hundreds of fine lines on my forehead and under my Chinese looking eyes. I can feel that my skin in drying-up. I shivered to what I see. It sends a panicky feeling. I told myself, "Oh Jesus, I am really fifty? Can you please turn back the clock?" I was only seventeen then when a 35 year old policeman proposed to my mom to marry me. Oh God, time travels like a speed of light. When I turned back the clock, I was young and when I look forward, I am growing old in numbers. I told myself then, "Beth, enjoy life for life is too short although you live 100 years on earth." Amen!

Yet, at fifty, it has never occurred to my imagination that someone would be jealous of me. When I shared this to Mike Gatchalian and Dennis Tuwahan, they told me, “Mommy, it is because you are prettier than her.” Are they telling me the truth and nothing but the truth.Or  do I need to bring them in court for a disposition? Common Beth, you ought to believe them. Okay, I believe ( my conscience is telling me to believe their statements, lol) They are my best of buddies. I was elated. I don't consider myself ravishing now although I am a trying hard copy-cut. I don't even look photogenic. I caught this lass red-handed with her sneering arrogance. I just smiled at the back of my head. All I can say to that girl, “Girl, don’t be insecure. You are young and pretty.” If some people find me gorgeous, it is not because of my physical appearance. It is deep within that makes me beautiful. 

They say I still look young at fifty. My kids told me the same story. I blushed but thank you. I don’t like to lie about my age that I am fifty.  I only want to look and think young at my age. I want to grow old graciously.  I only pamper my skin with lemon juice and ponds to stay young and enjoy

Chapter IV The Legacy: Dawn of the Fallen Angels

Winter was over when John dropped like a beaming light on Japan’s soil. The pink cherry blossoms flourished everywhere and it was magnificently beautiful. The ambience of the surrounding was colorful. The mountains snowcap and the icy rivers melted as the sun shone its beaming smile to say hello to once filled snowy side of Japan. The birds spread their lofty wings in the sky.  John said to himself, “Spring is here.” He hid his feathery white velvet wings behind him to conceal from the onlookers. As he strode to Khail’s mansion, flashback of memories beckoned him. The atmosphere had a nostalgic effect on him. He was 4 years when the World War II ended in 1945. His father, Zar decided to see the pervasive extent of wreckage that wrought Japan and he tagged John along with him. 

John saw that the war conjured a devastating effect to Japan. All John saw was flattened Japan. A total of 3 million people were killed and wreckage many cities to ashes. 9 million were homeless. It may take years for Japan to restore the once called economic tiger in Asia from the ruins and rubbles. The outcome of the war made Ayumi, his mother hysterical although her parents and relatives were safe in the invincible dwelling built by Zar in the Himalayan Mountains. On the other hand, his father was berserk of the devastation brought by the war. The use of high tech weapons such as atomic bomb claimed lives and limbs, especially innocent children. The human lives that God dearly created in his own image and likeness could be destroyed by human beings also brought about by selfishness, deceit and greed for power. The lives that they cherubim had once watched on earth have become evils too. John saw his father grieved of the outcome of the war. At this point too, John saw his father clenched his fists, the veins in his hands protruding as though they were going to spur blood then suddenly Zar was airborne. His wings spread like parachute. Zar was petulantly cursing in the air.  John could not decipher any. It was a divine language stating that it was right time to dig the richest in the world - to the Temple of Nowhere.

After measuring the intensity of war, Zar flew to Colorado Valley to meet Khail. Zar brought John with him.  It took pretty fast for Zar to travel Colorado from Japan. They travel at the blink of an eye. They flew above the rainstorm and the roaring of the winds. When they reached Colorado, USA, they dropped like a cannon ball and landed safely in front of Khail’s house.  Khail loved the scenery in Colorado Valley – the Rocky Mountains, the forest and the meadows. Khail’s residence was decorated with shrubs, flowers of different species and plants. His house was a canopy of old Spanish architecture made of bricks and stones.  Meaning to say, the house was more of an old fashioned but the interior of the house were well equipped aesthetically awesome concept of modern furnishings, fixtures and gadgets. Khail and his family were once residing in Colorado Valley. He left that place after the death of his wife, Cassandra to bury the forlorn memories.

The Temple of Nowhere was located hundred feet below the Red Sea. The front door was guarded with a giant venomous sea snake Hydrophiinae. Inside, the temple were demons swarming and swirling in black shadows ready to grab their first victim who attempted to get hold of the richest. No man yet had any pusillanimous knowledge of the hidden treasures except the lineage of Amon, August. Amons' great grandson August had the "Riddle of the Rebellion" written in the papyrus. August didn't know how to interpret the riddle because it was written in angelic language.

The long time buddies met and they embraced each other. Both their physical appearance and structure were robust and virile. Their transformation to human beings was divinely mystical. When they talked it was sort of combination of Hebrews, Arabic & English but mostly of the language of angels. It was the first time John met Khail's sons. Khail introduced John to his three sons, Mikhael, 18 years old; Darwin was 15 and Stephen was 10.  They instantly like each other. They sat in a dark brown couch and listened attentively to what their parents were discussing. Although they were of young age, they possessed powers. They were involved in the treasure hunting expedition.

“Did you get my message?” Zar asked. Zar was referring to the message relayed through mental telepathy.


“Yes, I did,” answered Khail.

“We are going to discuss a strategy on how to get the hidden treasure to help the restoration of this world from the wreckage of war and before it is too late for us. I can sense that there will be one from the lineage of Amon who will wage war at us and use these richest for destruction again which I don’t want to happen in the future,” uttered Zar.

The sooner the better digging the mine in the pit,” Khail muttered.

"They both spread the map of the Red Sea on the wooden table. “You see, it is somewhere here,” Zar lamented and he marked X with a pencil. “My photographic memory knows it is here, Pi Hahiroth. We, fallen angels built the temple between Pi Hahiroth and Baal Zephon and put the treasures there. Then we buried the temple under the sea beyond the eyes and knowledge of mankind.   We know that this place embarks a biblical history where Moses had to free the Israelites from the tyrannical Pharaoh, Raamses by crossing the Red Sea. Between you and me and our bloodlines, the crossing of the Red Sea signifies the restoration of the earth from war and bondage of poverty,"  said Zar.

“We have then to consider Egypt as the landmark of the jumpstart our quest for these incredible treasures. We may find it hard to trace where the treasures are because of the world gradual evolution. Gradual changes of the earth occurred  in a day how much more in a thousand year. It was long long time ago that we have abandoned the treasures,” stressed Khail.

“We left some trails behind before we separated to different directions. I credence that some of the trails are still there and are not eroded by the passing of time. If no trails left then we need to use our angelic powers to find the treasures. We’ll go bloodhound whatever danger there is. Whatever talion of dark forces are there," lamented Zar

To be continued...