IN THE MIRROR

Who is not afraid of growing old? Anyone Virginia? Of course, I know that every living human creature in this chaotic world is too scared to get old, to see their faces with fine lines, to see their skin sagging and dry, to see their hairs sprinted with gray and to tell the truth about their age. They say the best way to stay young is to lie about your age. Even sometimes I don’t like telling the exact figure of my age. When they asked me about my age I would throw back the question; “What is your guess.”  If they said; “You look 35 y/o” I smiled and tell them the truth that I’ll be 50 years soon. We cannot forever lie about our age just to make us young. We cannot fool everyone about our age.

Talking about age, I had a weird experience yesterday. It was like time travelling and one moment, I realized that we can travel like the speed of time.

I was doing a laundry yesterday at 2 am. Some neighbors were sleeping soundly but the sound of the washing machine I knew was pestering them. Good gracious, they never complained of cacophonous sound of the motor engine. Perfect, they absentmindedly don’t care about the roaring of the engine. Instantly, there was something strange that vacuumed me to the past life. It was sort of déjà vu. I don’t know how to explain. I was in trance. Déjà vu can make you sick because you can never have an answer whether you once lived in the past or see the future.  Yesterday, I saw myself as a three (3) year old kid. That was the day too that I lived in a very explicit environment where I started to question my existence. “Who am I?” That was the day too that I could hear thousands of echoes but I could not fathom every words they said. That was the day I felt I should never be borne in this world.  My trance was about 1 minute only then I got startled, sweat running down my cheeks and chills down my spine. When I come back into my element, I realized that I was not a 3 year old kid anymore. Standing was a 49 year old woman- worn-out by sands of time. Indeed time travel so fast. I can embark on this experience that I can be a time traveler. Only fear wants me to go back to the present because I don’t want to live in the past life.  

In the mirror, I don’t want see myself as a 3 year girl. I want to see myself as 49 year old woman who has climbed the steep mountain. Who has rebounded back from pitfalls. Who has remained to be strong-willed amidst all trials. The most important thing is to accept the fact that we grow in age and numbers but we also grow with great knowledge and wisdom. 

Well you know, it’s interesting being 50… You start to reflect on your life. And you looks back over the years at everything you’ve done. And, with age, middle age, comes wisdom. But I have to say that I’m not sure that 50 for me is the same as 50 in people years.Kermit The Frog quote